


In Which Eggsy Makes Some Assumptions

by Schuyler



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:49:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12044010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schuyler/pseuds/Schuyler
Summary: Eggsy turned on the charm with the smile that he knew made Harry weak. “Come on. You like Merlin. Would it be that bad to spend a week with him on a yacht?”“I like Merlin. That doesn’t necessarily mean I want to pretend to be his husband.”Out of the corner of his eye, Eggsy saw Merlin flinch.





	In Which Eggsy Makes Some Assumptions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentStannerShipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/gifts).



> Thanks to Eleanor_Lavish for the quick beta.
> 
> AgentStannerShipper, I have no idea what fandom your username is from, but I adore your work and I was so glad to write this for you. I hope it checks all your boxes.

The broken leg had been hell on Eggsy’s suit selection. Harry’d nearly had a coronary when Eggsy turned up to the table in a pinstriped suit jacket and blue jeans. Eggsy pointed out that it was better than him slicing open a trouser leg to get it over the boot and that idea didn’t seem to please Harry either. On top of that, by the third week on crutches, his shoulder muscles were starting to strain his very carefully cut jackets. So it was probably best that Harry was gone for all of week five, during which time Fisher had let out an older suit of Eggsy’s to allow for both the shoulders and, as best as possible, the boot.

It was in his new suit that he went down to the hangar and talked shite with their vehicles director until the elevator engaged and the jet descended. The door opened and Harry was the first one out, coming immediately over to Eggsy. “My love,” he said, cupping Eggsy’s face for a kiss. “How are you? Why are you on your feet? How are you feeling?”

“Fine, you old hen. Christ.” But Eggsy grinned and let Harry kiss him again.

Merlin was a little slower to follow. He stopped beside Harry, looking as unsure as Eggsy’d ever seen him. “Agent Galahad.” 

“Agent Merlin,” Eggsy said, cheeky grin still in place. “That was excellent work. Also, I drank all the tea in your office.”  
  
“Goddamnit, Eggsy.” But he rolled his eyes and Eggsy considered it a win.

*

_Six weeks earlier_

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing Eggsy said when Harry came into his hospital room. His voice was rough, but then he hadn’t said much over the last few days. He’d been unconscious from about ten minutes after Percival found him pushed off a roof in Oslo until after his surgery.

“My dear sweet boy, why?” Harry was at his bedside and immediately brought a cup of water to Eggsy’s mouth to make him drink.

“Doc had to put pins in my leg, broken in 7 places. I’m scratched for at least two months.”

“And I’ll spend all that time coddling you and doting on you and bringing you treats."

“You will not,” Eggsy said, raising his bed a little so he could stare Harry down. “You’re going to St. Tropez.”  
  
“Eggsy. I can’t go on that mission alone. We’ll just have to find a different way to get to Beaufort.” The door clicked open behind him and Merlin came in. He looked mad, but resigned, which was nice. That meant Eggsy only had to fight one agent on this.

“Nope,” Eggsy said. “We waited too long to get an opportunity like this, and the identity is too good to burn. You’re going. And you’ll need to take Merlin with you.”

“Eggsy,” Harry said in the tone that honestly drove Eggsy insane. It was his “I’m about to treat you like a child” voice.

“I think he might be right,” Merlin said. “This was only going to work because we had an agent with Eggsy’s technological skill. I could maybe get Lancelot up to speed in time, but we’d have to pull her back from Spain and she’s doing good work there.”

Eggsy turned on the charm with the smile that he knew made Harry weak. “Come on. You like Merlin. Would it be that bad to spend a week with him on a yacht?”

“I like Merlin. That doesn’t necessarily mean I want to pretend to be his husband.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Eggsy saw Merlin flinch.

*

Harry had a powerful need to caretake and smother. He was endlessly lucky that Eggsy was the sort of boy that liked to be looked after. Up in Arthur’s rooms, where Eggsy had been staying since Harry left for St. Tropez, Eggsy let Harry take away his crutches and peel him out of his suit. He had dinner sent up and regaled Eggsy with stories of the prats they met on the yacht, as though Eggsy hadn’t been watching through his glasses. Eggsy, starved of Harry’s dumb face, was happy to listen and snuggle close.

“And how were things here?” Harry asked as he cleared the dishes away and Eggsy got ready for bed.

“Fine.” Eggsy was an old hand now at how he had to balance himself to move around the suite without his crutches. He was probably just a week or two away from getting off of them and unwilling to risk his progress. “I got to see how the other half lives, being your handler.” He flicked on the bathroom light and pulled his shirt off. It had been a long day, but once his teeth were brushed, he got to curl up with Harry again.

“And now you see that it’s not nearly as bad as Merlin’s always moaning about.”

“Not quite a fair comparison,” he said around his toothbrush. “Usually, when the two of us are together, things explode and cars get nicked. You two just ate a lot of seafood and made conversation with old people.”

“I also did a fair bit of dancing.” Harry came into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around Eggsy, pressing his cheek to Eggsy’s shoulder and then leaving a trail of kisses almost to Eggsy’s elbow.  
  
Eggsy spit in the sink and then rinsed his mouth. “Didn’t really get to see that, since Merlin used the distraction of you being a ridiculous peacock to get some actual work done.”

“It’s a good thing you’re stunning,” Harry said, going for his own toothbrush.

Eggsy pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek and made his way back to the bedroom. He got himself out of his walking boot and took a moment to look at Harry’s ass as he spit in the sink, then slipped under the covers. Harry turned out all the lights on his way over and crawled in to curl himself around Eggsy’s back, the way they always slept together. “I missed this,” Harry murmured, kissing Eggsy’s ear.

“Me too,” Eggsy whispered. “Though you got to cuddle up with Merlin instead.”

“He’s bony,” Harry muttered.

“He isn’t. He’s built like a Greek statue and he sleeps shirtless. You can’t tell me that it wasn’t nice getting some of that for yourself.”

Harry ducked his head against Eggsy’s shoulder. “Well, I suppose it wasn’t all bad.”

“How come you two were never a thing?”

Eggsy thought there’d be an answer. Instead, Harry just went silent and thoughtful. “I wasn’t right for him, I guess. You can only pine after someone for so long before you just feel like an idiot. I focused instead on becoming his friend.”

Eggsy frowned, then suddenly rolled over to face Harry. “But you’ve talked about it, right? You told Merlin how you felt and Merlin told you that?”

“No? It never ... or perhaps I never... What did you think had happened?”

“I thought you’d had this conversation in like the eighties or something and gotten it all cleared up. No wonder you look at each other like that.”

Harry’s hand found Eggsy’s cheek in the dark. “Eggsy, none of that matters now. I have you.”

“I know. And I love you even though you’re an idiot.”

* 

_Four weeks earlier_

The boat was honestly less gaudy than Eggsy had expected. It looked like the sort of motor yacht that celebrities tended to turn up on at Cannes, according to Hello! (Eggsy had made terrible fun of Harry when he discovered that his new posh boyfriend subscribed to both Hello! and OK, but now they fought over who got to read them first.) Harry gave his name at the end of the dock and their hostess met them at the gangway. “Harry de Vere!” she said. Eggsy threw her name up on Harry’s glasses, but Harry would know her anyway. Madeleine Beaufort, former British socialite and now wife of their target, a broker of jewels, stolen artwork, and, lately, regrettably, weapons named Teresa Beaufort. She kissed both of Harry’s cheeks. “I am so glad you made it.”

“Madeleine,” Harry said, and Eggsy grinned back at HQ. Harry was already turning on the charm. “You look lovely. This is my husband, Andrew.”

Merlin offered his hand, but Madeleine kissed both of his cheeks instead. “Nope. You’re part of the family now. Come along, I’ll show you to your rooms, introduce you around.”

Eggsy was busy for the next hour, cataloging details about the ship, adding faces and names through their database, and trying to goad Merlin into not looking quite so stiff. “It’s perfectly normal that you’re skittish around new people, but Harry’s your husband. Would it kill you to hold his hand?” Merlin found a mirror to glare at Eggsy in, but when they turned to meet the next group of Madeleine’s friends, he slipped his hand into Harry’s.

Eggsy had to admit that putting him on this mission would have been a disaster. When they found out that Teresa and Madeleine held an annual yacht cruise for their favorite gay and lesbian clients, it had seemed like it would be easy to get an in. Harry de Vere, an identity still intact post-Valentine, just had to make a purchase and suggest that he was interested in more. Then he’d bring along Eggsy, who had the know-how to hack their laptops, which had proven invulnerable to outside attempts. But it turned out that there wasn’t another May-December romance in the bunch. Several of the attendees looked to be in their 70s. This was something completely different: a group of people who had been gathering since all of this was still something you had to hide. Eggsy imagined that, even ten years ago, the chance to be together in a semi-public setting like this might be the highlight of someone’s year.

On the yacht, Harry made a joke and everyone in their little cluster of people laughed, except for Merlin. “Oh, darling, you know I don’t mean it,” Harry said.

Harry leaned in for a quick kiss and, when he pulled away, Eggsy saw the utter devastation on Merlin’s face for just a moment before he pasted on a smile. “Well, I’ll forgive you this time.” 

*

HQ wasn’t all that big when you were in it 24/7. Between the shuttle, the dining room, and the dog run, Eggsy covered most of it in a day. So it was strange that he hadn’t seen Merlin once in the four days they’d been back. This morning, he’d even come in early and stayed in the dining room the whole of the time breakfast was served, just to see if he turned up. He knew that, unlike many of them, Merlin didn’t have a place elsewhere. He rarely left the grounds at all. At 10, when their imposing chatelaine flipped the deadbolt on the kitchen door, Eggsy got back up on his crutches and made his way down to technical services.

Merlin’s door was closed, but his assistant, Niviane, was at her desk, hard at work. Eggsy leaned down to kiss her cheek in greeting. “Is he in a meeting or somethin’?”

“Nah. Just being cranky. You can go on in.”

Eggsy waved off her help and let himself into Merlin’s office. After four days of no contact, he rather thought Merlin would be in some sort of dramatic state, maybe blacked on out expensive scotch or eyes bloodshot from crying. But he was just sitting at his desk, going through a stack of forms.

“Ah, Galahad. How can I help you?”

Eggsy shut the door, then brought himself up to his full height. “Are you in love with Harry?”

Merlin looked sucker-punched, like Eggsy had knocked the wind out of him. “Eggsy, you were with us every moment on that cruise. You know nothing happened.”

Eggsy nodded. “But did you want it to?”

Merlin’s mouth opened and closed without a sound and Eggsy had his answer. 

*

_Three and a half weeks earlier._

The third night on the ship, there was a bridge party after dinner. Harry, the crafty bugger, had managed to get himself and Merlin playing in a foursome with the Beauforts. “Don’t go easy on us,” Teresa told him. “We love a good challenge.”

“Perhaps we should put down a wager,” Harry said. They agreed on a case of the loser’s favorite wine, delivered to the winner after they returned to land, and began play.

“Do you need my help to win?” Eggsy said. He could see both sets of cards.

Harry just smirked at Merlin. “I have every confidence in Andrew and myself.”

He wasn’t wrong. He and Merlin played into each other’s hands so easily that Eggsy didn’t think he would have been much help after all. “Oh, I think we’ve been sharked,” Madeleine said with a grin.

“Honestly, we hardly play,” Harry said.

Teresa flapped her hand. “You don’t have to. You’re so, I don’t know, in tune with each other that it doesn’t matter. Midge and I have been together thirteen years and we’re not half as sweet as the two of you are.”

Through Merlin’s glasses, Eggsy saw Harry smile. It was a look he’d seen aimed his way hundreds of times. Harry looked like a man in love. And through Harry’s glasses, Eggsy saw Merlin blush.

*

Eggsy had had lots of time to think since the night of the bridge tournament. Harry had slipped a little something to make Madeleine and Teresa sleep extra hard into their nightcaps and Merlin had let himself into their suite after hours to crack Madeleine’s laptop and pick through her files and email until he found all the information needed to track down and arrest her weapons supplier. After that, they just spent two more days on the yacht, collecting info on their friends and playing shuffleboard. Eggsy didn’t lie to himself anymore; the therapist he’d seen for a year post-Valentine had helped him develop tools to prevent that. So when he really looked at Merlin and Harry, all he found was the desire for Harry to have that extra measure of happiness, and to let Merlin experience the wonder of Harry. He knew, well as he knew his own name, that he and Harry were fated and in for the long haul, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t room for someone else.

Harry and Merlin had been back for eight days when Eggsy sent an email to Merlin. It was a picture of his socked foot and the note, “The boot is off and I’m on a cane! Dinner to celebrate? Be here at 7.” Niv had been all too happy to tell Eggsy that Merlin had no plans for the evening if whatever he had in mind would pick Merlin’s spirits up.

When Harry got home at 6:30, Eggsy met him at the door with a kiss. “Notice anything different about me?”

“Your trousers are falling correctly for the first time in two months.”

“And so I’ve decided to repay all of your pampering with some of my own. I’ve drawn you a bath.” Eggsy nibbled at Harry’s ear. “There’s a fresh martini waiting for you,” he whispered, “and the new Hello!”

“And will you be providing company for this bath?” Harry asked, helping himself to a handful of Eggsy’s rear.

“Naughty! No, I won’t. I’m making dinner.” Eggsy had come to live with Harry with only one impressive recipe under his belt, a white lasagna that had become Harry’s very favorite comfort food. “Up you go. Martini’s getting warm.”

In honesty, Eggsy already had the lasagna put together. He made himself a drink to calm his nerves and then slid it into the oven.

Eggsy was watching from the front window when he saw Merlin come up the walk. He opened the door before Merlin had a chance to ring the bell. “You came!” Merlin looked up at him, a little startled and caught on the wrong foot. Eggsy wanted so much to help. “Come in. Let me get you a drink.”

“Ah, thank you,” Merlin said, hanging his scarf on the coat tree. “How is your leg?”

“Fuckin’ aces. But of course the first thing Harry mentioned were my trousers.”

Merlin laughed, just a soft huff that still made Eggsy smile. “He is insufferable about those.”

Merlin was settled on the couch with a fresh drink when he finally asked, “Is Harry not home yet?”

“He is,” Eggsy said, sitting at the other end of the sofa. “Should be down shortly.” Eggsy could see that Merlin was beginning to piece together that this was a surprise visit for Harry, but before he could make his excuses, Eggsy put his hand on Merlin’s thigh. “Trust me?”

Before he could answer, the man in question appeared in the doorway, damp and just in his bathrobe. “Merlin...”

“Harry,” Eggsy said. “Come sit down. We have something to talk about.” He scooted over and patted the space between himself and Merlin. Harry’s eyes screamed that there would be retribution, but he tightened his bathrobe and sat. He did, however, steal Eggsy’s vodka and soda, which was fair. “I saw a lot on that mission, watching from back here. I can see why Merlin likes it so much. But I realized that there was probably a conversation that you two should have had long before I turned up.”

Merlin went white as a sheet, but was stopped from action by the oven buzzer going off. “I’ll just grab that,” Eggsy said, going into the kitchen. He hit the buzzer as fast as he could and slid the pan out of the oven quietly so he could eavesdrop.

“Harry, what is this all about?” Merlin asked. He sounded plaintive, pleading.

“Eggsy wants me to tell you that I’ve been in love with you since he was in diapers. I told him that your ... interests lay elsewhere, but ... something about how I acted on that mission clued him in.”

“I couldn’t think for a minute that you’d leave Eggsy...” Merlin started.

“And I wouldn’t.”

“But in the interest of clearing the air, I’m in much the same position.” Eggsy peeked around the doorway and saw the light dawn in Harry’s eyes. “Unfortunately, that ship has sailed.”

“I don’t think it has,” Harry said, turning to meet Eggsy’s eyes. “I think I finally understand what the little rascal has in mind.” Eggsy couldn’t help his grin as he bounced back to the living room. He made himself comfortable in the armchair beside the sofa and looked at them expectantly. “Eggsy wants to invite you into our bed.”

“Oi, don’t make it sound crude,” Eggsy said. “The two of you are in love, and I’m not gonna stand in the way of that. I think I have enough happiness to share it around a little.”

“Absolutely not,” Merlin said, and he was moving to get up from the couch when Harry stopped him with a hand.

“Just one kiss, then? I’ve been wondering about that for thirty years.”

Eggsy thought about what it would be like to be in that position, tempted with a taste of something you never thought you could have and too scared to take it, sure the bite was poisoned. He definitely would have taken the offer; he was too used to living without joy to pass it up even when it came at a cost, but he had no idea what Merlin would do.

Eggsy saw that same pained expression flicker across Merlin's face. He honestly never wanted to see it again. "Harry," he said, in a way that was pleading. Eggsy could hear the words left unsaid.  _This could break me._

“Please?” Harry had made an art out of wheedling what he wanted out of Merlin and Merlin finally sighed, giving in. Harry leaned forward and Merlin’s eyes closed just before their mouths met. His fingers found Merlin’s hand, clenched into a fist, and coaxed it open until he could twine their fingers together. Merlin gasped suddenly and seemed to redouble his efforts, slipping his free hand to Harry’s back and pulling him in closer. Harry pressed him back against the arm of the sofa and moved away from his mouth, kissing a path down his throat. Merlin turned and looked at Eggsy, desperate and confused.

“See?” Eggsy said. “Harry’s so fuckin’ gone over you. And I can’t blame him.” Harry snarled and dug his teeth in and Merlin whined and bucked up against Harry’s body. “You’re fit as fuck, funny, lethal.” Harry’s hand slid between them and fumbled into Merlin’s trousers. Merlin shut his eyes and bit his lip. Eggsy knew he was attractive, but he was fuckin’ gorgeous like this, fighting Harry and his own body. Eggsy wanted to let them have this moment together, but he was so tempted to join in.

“Christ, Merlin,” Harry said, his voice rough and intense. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” He started stroking Merlin’s cock inside his trousers and Merlin whined and bucked again. “And now you’re here and fucking gorgeous.” Harry sat up, hair mussed and eyes wild, and yanked Merlin down until he was flat on the sofa, then started in on his belt and trousers. “Eggsy, could you take Merlin’s glasses off for me?”

Eggsy carefully removed Merlin’s glasses and then pressed a kiss to his forehead. Merlin reached up and pulled Eggsy down into a proper kiss. His kisses were frantic, desperate, and Eggsy didn’t even bother trying to soothe him. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you too,” Merlin said, and Eggsy kissed him again. When Merlin cried out into his mouth, Eggsy broke the kiss to look. Harry was on his knees, bathrobe abandoned and cock hard in his hand while he sucked Merlin’s. This wasn’t a Harry trying to drag the pleasure out. He went at Merlin like he was on a timer, like he couldn’t possibly wait any longer to have Merlin come in his mouth. “Harry, Christ,” Merlin moaned. He buried his hands in Harry’s hair and started to lift his hips. Harry whined for it, practically begging Merlin to fuck his mouth. Eggsy wasn’t sure Harry even realized he was wanking himself off.

“You look so good together,” Eggsy said. “And my God, Harry. Aren’t you desperate for it?” Harry sped his pace on Merlin’s cock. “He’s usually so commanding and calm in bed. But one chance at you and he goes mental.”

“Harry,” Merlin said, his breath coming in rough pants. “Harry, I can’t...”

Harry held tight to Merlin’s arse and kept him going, fucking himself with Merlin’s cock. Merlin locked eyes with Eggsy and Eggsy got to witness the stunning sight of Merlin coming with Harry’s name on his lips. When he was done, Eggsy kissed him again, enjoying the way even Merlin’s tongue slowed as he came down. When he broke away, with a series of tiny, sweet kisses, he saw Harry, watching them intently as he came into his cupped palm.

“Eggsy,” Merlin said. “May I... thank you?”

Merlin looked debauched, fucked out with his trousers around his hips and his jumper rucked halfway up his chest and his eyes unfocused and his mouth wet, to say nothing of Harry, and Eggsy *wanted*. “Lasagna’s getting cold,” he said. “But after that, you can thank me all you want.”

 


End file.
